|
| |
Are you talented? Ambitious?
Self-motivated? Then apply for a job with the MOP!
|
Current Openings
 Interns
|
|
|
 |
|
 Agent Provocateurs (AKA
Plumbers)
-
Moral leniency
-
Extremely vocal
-
No moral aversion to election fraud
-
Must embarrass opposition candidates
-
Ability to start fires with crude tools
-
Knowledge of recording devices
-
Mafia Button Man or CIA Field Operative
experience a plus!
|
|
|
|
 Bought Journalists
- Favorite color must be yellow
- Big flashy vocabulary, a must!
- Fondness for demagoguery
- Must pretend to promote morality (i.e. "For the
children," etc.)
- Professional attire required
- Must be willing to squash negative stories about the campaign
- Disrespect for truth a plus!
- Bring your own press credentials (we're not paying for 'em!)
|
|
|
|
|
 Brainless Almost Celebrities
-
Must have a minor claim to fame
-
Must be somewhat coherent
-
Must serve without reservation
-
Capable of memorizing propaganda
-
Willing to buy alcohol for staff
-
Free access to local media, a plus!
-
No morality required!
|
|
|
|
|
We look forward to hearing from you!
Remember America needs your
service,
will you ignore her pleas for help? |
The Morris campaign will be happy
to accept any God-fearing real Americans who wish to volunteer to assist
in the Morris campaign, so long as they qualify under the rules for
political volunteers as published by the campaign. Please review the
following list of available positions, and if you qualify please feel free to
e-mail us
immediately!
|
|
