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DONATIONS SCHEDULE |
|
Donation |
Ranking |
| $10.00 |
Cheap Scumbag
Do us a favor and leave us alone. |
| $25.00 |
Angel
Now we can buy some pens. Thanks a bunch, asshole. |
$50.00
|
Double Angel
We'll buy some scotch.
This donation level gets you included as a Sponsor of the Official
Morris For Mayor email newsletter, published whenever the hell we
feel like it! |
| $100.00 |
Fat Angel
You slob. |
| $500.00 |
Really Fat Angel
You still don't get the free poster! Why don't you
divert some of that money you had stashed for a rainy day to the
campaign. |
| $1,500.00 |
FREE Morris For Mayor Poster!
Good work!
I guess the "rain" metaphor got some of you! |
$5,000.00
|
Official Commie Hunter
Your dedication to the campaign has elevated you to a highly coveted
status. Your zeal will help to root out the evil Communists hidden
under every bed. Did you know that they are in some of the
highest positions in our government? |
$10,000.00
 |
Sexual Tyrannosaurus
Anything you want and the Vizcaya weekend package!
Important Notice: Since we are religiously
affiliated we cannot send hookers to Vizcaya until the media has
left the premises. Please state your preference for either cocaine
or heroin on the Memo portion of your check. |
| All Of It |
God-Fearing Real-American Patriot
For those who love Morris and believe that he is
the only hope for America, just send us your credit cards and
children's college funds. Morris will put that money to work
saving America! We swear. |
Give
till it hurts, and rest assured that you are doing God's work.
Please make your non-deductible
checks payable to:
Campaign America Solutions Headquarters
(or, just use the acronym CASH, it's easier and requires less writing!).
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